hear my plea

cedarsong Avatar
cedarsong
Inactive
Dec 30, 2019 4:10:58 GMT
[googlefont="Girassol"][googlefont="Poppins"]
[attr="class","cedar1"]
[attr="class","cedar3"]cedarsong
[attr="class","cedar2"] The day had come when she couldn't take awaking in this blasted den anymore had finally arrived. Well, okay. Let's be honest, that day had been the day she'd been put in it. But Cedarsong wasn't stupid, she knew that she wouldn't be able to turn Spiritstar's mind around immediately. Especially since the decision had ultimately come from Skywhisper. So she'd laid in the elder's den, her heart broken for nearly a moon before she decided that she'd waited long enough. Cedarsong dreamed every night about the life she could have had as a warrior - had she not made a stupid mistake. And she couldn't stand the pain anymore. The pain from her leg, the pain in her chest. All of it was drowning her. She felt like everything was cascading and all she could do was hold on for dear life while the rapids took her under.

So she'd made the decision the night prior to go to Spiritstar, and as she laid in her nest for the first time in nearly a moon, she had a sliver of hope that her leader wouldn't damn her for the mistake she'd made three moons ago as the rest of the world had seemed to.

Pushing herself from her nest, the tabby put in her best effort to clean herself - a task she'd admittedly neglected for nearly a week as the depression sat in and swallowed her whole. But knowing she was seeking an audience with the leader and was hoping to be taken seriously, she knew that a bath would be a good first step. So once her pelt laid flat and was clean - even on the blasted leg that would never heal properly - she rose from her sitting position and hobbled toward the leader's den.

It'd been her own fault the last moon that she felt weak. She hadn't done much of anything since she'd been made an elder to "heal" or whatever Skywhisper said she needed to do. Her muscles felt weak and even though she hadn't eaten much of anything, her stomach felt like it had grown. She felt bloated, she felt gross. And even the opportunity to stretch her limbs sounded heavenly. Sucking her breath in, the feline prayed to whatever was out there - because in truth she wasn't sure it was StarClan anymore - that he'd believe in her the way she needed someone to.

"S-Spiritstar?" She mewed slowly from outside his den, not sure he was even there, but hoping he would be.
[attr="class","cedar4"]424 | | bandit


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PEBBLES
TWENTY-THREE
FEMALE
SHE/HER
HETEROSEXUAL
ELDER
N/A
BANDIT
Spiritsong Avatar
Spiritsong
Oneclan
Dec 31, 2019 0:16:05 GMT
SPIRITSTAR
Spiritstar had been trying to sleep, though it was not the voice that called up to him which caused him to fail at that. The nightmares that plagued him had only gotten worse and more personal since the Spore started taking cat upon cat, since it began to target his kin and invade and sense of normality his clan had achieved since Bonestar's fall. So, in a way, the call came as a bit of a relief. It was an excuse to get up and be done with traumatic or unsuccessful attempts at sleep. So, the raven tom opened his eyes to the branches above, blinking at the sun filtering through, before rolling onto his stomach.

He would have called the feline up into the tree, had he not already placed the voice.

Conscious of her injured leg, and the possibility of her trying to climb with it anyway if he so much implied remaining on his favored branch as a preference, Spiristar called down over the edge toward the ground. "Just a moment." Standing, the tom stretched, swiping his tongue over his pelt a few times, before he descended to the ground.

In truth, he felt bad for Cedarsong. Seeing her lying about miserably in the elder's den was a sorry sight, though no matter his reluctance in the matter, Spiritstar had to agree with Skywhisper that it was a necessity. Not that he thought her incapable, even if she may not be able to hunt or fight like most, if at all - he wanted her to be able to feel worthwhile, useful, just as he pressed for Cherrybloom as well. Yet so long as she did not take her own health and safety into account, he simply could not morally allow her to stand as a warrior. She needed to let her stubbornness and recklessness go first, and accept her limitations.

Perhaps today would be a step toward that goal.

With a slightly longer stretch now at the base of the tree, the leader curled his tail over his spine, before taking a few paces from the roots and sitting down, gesturing for the young molly to join him. "Now, tell me what's troubling you, Cedarsong."

Notes |
Tagged |


PEBBLES
50 Moons
Male
He/Him
Pansexual
Co-Leader
PERCEPTION
cedarsong Avatar
cedarsong
Inactive
Jan 15, 2020 0:06:51 GMT
[googlefont="Girassol"][googlefont="Poppins"]
[attr="class","cedar1"]
[attr="class","cedar3"]cedarsong
[attr="class","cedar2"] As Spiritstar appeared and descended from his nest that was concealed in some of the higher branches of the tree, Cedarsong had to fight the grimace that traced the corner of her lips. Rueful at the knowledge that she had once been able to gracefully climb up to the tallest branches of the tree too. She missed the feeling of being that high in the sky and more so missed the freedom that came from having all her limbs.

As the tuxedo tom lowered himself to the ground and sat himself before her, her yellow eyes lowered slowly from where she’d been staring up into the branches, daydreaming of times that were gone. He pulled her back to reality and gestured for her to sit with him, which she hesitated only momentarily before lowering herself to sit too. Offering a small smile, she pulled her tail tightly around herself, her bad leg sitting awkwardly beside her. The muscles were useless, it hadn’t moved since it’d been broken.

What was troubling her? The patched tabby swallowed hard at his question, thinking over her response. Was it too childish to say everything? Everything about this situation was wrong, being an elder and put aside in a musty den where she did nothing but hate herself for how childish she’d been and how useless she was now. Clearing her throat, she shifted uncomfortably before speaking. “Spiritstar, I wanted to talk with you about reconsidering the decision to make me an elder.” She began, her voice shaking slightly though she quickly gained her confidence.

I’ve done as Skywhisper asked and have been careful with it for about a moon and have allowed myself time to heal. There’s a few aches and pains now, but nothing like it used to be. I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life inside the elder’s den, and I want the opportunity to serve my clan like I trained for.

Slowly, she turned her gaze toward her leader, her yellow eyes hardened, but a glimmer of hope shining. While she wasn’t close with Spiritstar, understandably so, her clanmates talked of his fairness and she only hoped that he’d understand where she was coming from. That he’d see why she needed this to not be all there was.

[attr="class","cedar4"]379 | | bandit


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PEBBLES
TWENTY-THREE
FEMALE
SHE/HER
HETEROSEXUAL
ELDER
N/A
BANDIT
Spiritsong Avatar
Spiritsong
Oneclan
Jan 18, 2020 0:14:24 GMT
SPIRITSTAR
The request Cedarsong made was of no surprise to Spiritstar, and so he listened silently. He knew she would not leave it at that. She seemed a little uncertain of herself, but he could sense her resolve, and he knew she figured it would take more that a simple request to change her fate. She needed to prove not only that she wanted this, but that she was ready for what it may entail. He needed to know that she accepted being an ordinary warrior as she had once dreamed, once tried to force herself to be despite her injury, was no longer an option for her. Yet that did not mean she only had one option left.He wanted to let her chose her own path - but not at the cost of herself.

While the tom did not want to kill that glimmer of hope in her eyes, her last words made him certain he needed to make one thing absolutely clear, show her the limits to which he simply would not budge. So, while his gaze was far from cold, there was a seriousness to it that did not waver as he spoke. "You know that you can never be the warrior you were trained to become - not without causing yourself further harm. I will not allow that," he began firmly.

After allowing a moment for the words to settle, he would raise a paw to silence any arguments she may have, showing he was not finished speaking. "However," he continued, meeting her gaze, and softening his own slightly. "I know you have far too much energy to lie around idle, energy you wish to spend serving your clan. I want this for you, too, if you would be willing to compromise."

He did not wish to see the potential of youth wasted. She had so much spirit left in her, too much to be spent lying around camp or ridding her denmates of ticks. He wanted to see her content in knowing that she was still helping her clan in some way, even if it was not quite the way she once thought she was destined to. Everyone deserved to feel like they have a place, and while everyone's time came to rescind that place to younger blood and enjoy the rest of their moons in peace, her time was not now.

Notes |
Tagged |


PEBBLES
50 Moons
Male
He/Him
Pansexual
Co-Leader
PERCEPTION
cedarsong Avatar
cedarsong
Inactive
Jan 29, 2020 5:47:58 GMT
[googlefont="Girassol"][googlefont="Poppins"]
[attr="class","cedar1"]
[attr="class","cedar3"]cedarsong
[attr="class","cedar2"] As Spiritstar spoke, it took everything she had for the she-cat to keep her head held high and her gaze focused steadily on his because as he first stated that he would not allow her to become the warrior she'd trained to be, a piece of her shattered. But she stared up at him with hardened eyes, gaze locked firmly. As silly - and maybe even childish as it might have been - part of her hoped that should she just show him how determined she was, he'd rescind his decision and give in to her childish demands of needing to be useful. However, before she could even offer protest, a paw was raised to silence her and he continued, offering that he wanted to find another way for her to do what she needed to for MoorClan and apprehensively, the damaged feline arched her brow, cautious and yet curious to his proposal.

No part of her was ready to agree to anything less than the life of a warrior. She was a strong fighter - at least she had been and while hunting hadn't been a weakness, now, it was a damned curse. The first few times she tried, she was certain that the entire forest had been awakened by the way her leg uselessly dragged behind her and sparring was a joke thus far. She'd yet to really master how to refocus her balance on three legs for anything more than walking and even that was a stretch some days. It was also used against her in sparring matches and while she understood why - because in a real battle, that was exactly what would happen - it didn't mean that she didn't think it possible to learn to protect it better than she could now. But she didn't know what Spiritstar had in mind...

Clearing her throat slowly, her voice shaking only slightly from the fear of being barred from doing anything like she once had, she still asked. "What would you allow me to do, then? If not as a warrior like I once was, what else is there?" Maybe it was a little narrow-minded, but she had never known another with her injuries - she didn't know if Spiritstar had. Or if he was just saying things to try to make her feel slightly less useless. Because that was what it felt like - if she was being truthful. Cedarsong instinctively curled her tail around her paws but kept her gaze carefully on his, wondering what his response would be.
[attr="class","cedar4"]425 | | bandit


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PEBBLES
TWENTY-THREE
FEMALE
SHE/HER
HETEROSEXUAL
ELDER
N/A
BANDIT

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