amnesty

wavestep Avatar
wavestep
Oneclan
Dec 23, 2019 0:11:56 GMT
[googlefont="Girassol"][googlefont="Poppins"]
[attr="class","bandittttt1"]
[attr="class","bandittttt3"]WAVESTEP
[attr="class","bandittttt2"] He hadn’t much liked the tone that Fawnspots called earlier that morning that she wanted to talk. Those three words usually meant it was not going to be an easy conversation. He’d been thinking of those words all through his hunting patrol and had been so consumed by them that he’d only managed to bring back a mouse which was - surprisingly - plump. It dangled by his tail as he made his way into camp, greeted almost instantly large yellow eyes and a strained smile from across the camp. Sucking in a heavy sigh, Wavestep realized he should have known that Fawnspots wouldn’t let something go this easily. His mate didn’t give up easily - as he’d seen when she’d stayed with him for countless moons.

Doing his best not to look exasperated by her persistence, the light-colored tom made his way toward her, the plump mouse still in his jaws. Softly, he leaned forward to brush his cheek against her own and laid the mouse at her paws. “Here, love. Eat.” He whispered as he sat himself slowly down before her, giving her a little space to do just that. Part of him hoped that he’d be able to keep their interaction in camp - hoping that by doing so, she’d be more reserved about her emotions. It was cold to do so - Wavestep knew that - but he already had an idea where this conversation would go. Newleaf would be coming in a couple of moons - this was a time they always seemed to be more strained toward each other from arguing.

It tended to drive him further away from his mate too and toward the comfort of she-cats who required less attention. They only seemed to wish to spend time with him - a commodity that seemed lost on his mate some days. She often talked of kits and nothing else and he’d been perfectly clear on how he felt about them.

Yet, Wavestep knew when he looked at Fawnspots that he loved her. There was no question in his mind about that. He wanted her to be his mate and no one else’s. Maybe it was the possessiveness that drove him to act so callously some days, but he knew that his mate wouldn’t make him change. It was heartless to think that way, but he knew she wouldn’t leave him.
[attr="class","bandittttt4"]394 |  | bandit

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PEBBLES
FIFTY-ONE
MALE
HE/HIM
HETEROSEXUAL
WARRIOR
NA
BANDIT
fawnspots Avatar
fawnspots
Oneclan
Dec 23, 2019 16:15:00 GMT
{
}


She was becoming impatient. Or perhaps she was long past impatient and was just revisiting it for fun. They had been mates for moons. Countless moons of nothingness, or at least, no kits. Nothingness was the incorrect word. They had their moments, where it seemed that all was well and love was still perfect. Perhaps they weren't the most picture perfect image of love, but Fawnspots would still call what they had love none the less. Even if others attempted to sway her mind and convince her to leave. She never could, it was impossible. There was simply too much there, too much to give up and in the end, she would always end up directly back where she was. With Wavestep. 

But she loved him...and thus, she was okay with the decision of staying. Even after...well, the unfaithfulness. It was hard to admit to herself at first. But as time went on, she grew somewhat numb to the fact that it had happened. It was almost as if it had never happened. And even as it seemed to happen again, and even as she found out about the past incidents, it never seemed to shake her enough to leave. Perhaps a day would be spent quietly crying to herself, holed up in a corner and taking no visitors...but afterwards she could be found with a smile and a warm heart. It was just...her. 

But being her also meant her constant need for kits. If they had kits, he had to stay. At least in her mind that was a validation of their relationship. That was something that ensured a future. And while he had pushed them off thus far, she was becoming determined for them to become a reality. To actually nuzzle kits to her for warmth and to curl around them protectively. To watch them grow and flourish into warriors that the clan would desperately need at some point. Without her kits, the future was bleak. 

Requesting his presence had been the easy part. Waiting for him, well...it was making her all the more anxious. And as she sat, smiling at those who passed, she couldn't help but feel some sort of butterflies building in the pit of her stomach. Her nerves could be the death of this conversation if she let them be...but she was determined...or at least she hoped she was. 

Her amber orbs easily identified him as he entered the camp, and she released a breath she hadn't been aware she was holding. It was time. As he approached she consciously gave a lick to her chest and straightened her spine. He closed the distance, and his fur brushed against hers. She closed her eyes briefly, who else had he done that too recently. Who else had heard those words? With a flick of an ear, the thoughts were gone and a warm smile replaced them. She eyed the mouse, it was awfully plump for Leaf-Bare and if he came baring gifts...surely he knew what this would be about. 

Quietly she took a small bite, she had recently eaten but she would not deny him the satisfaction of bringing her a meal. "It seems as if the patrol was successful?" She mused, her voice soft and warm. Motherly was her nature, and it showed in almost every aspect of her life. Ask him Fawn...he's here...he came...he didn't deny you the conversation. Her tail flicked calmly behind her, and her eyes softened as they settled on him briefly. "I...I..." She sighed, pulling her eyes from her mate and letting them rest on the mouse between them. "I just wanted to see if you had changed you mind." Her words were sheepish, quiet and almost cowardly. 

So perhaps it wasn't the tone she envisioned, but she had made an attempt, even if it wasn't a solid one.    


''eeeep i hope you like her and i did her justice. this ended up ridiculously long. 
MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0

PEBBLES
Molly
Hetero
Jelly
wavestep Avatar
wavestep
Oneclan
Dec 27, 2019 20:41:38 GMT
[googlefont="Girassol"][googlefont="Poppins"]
[attr="class","bandittttt1"]
[attr="class","bandittttt3"]WAVESTEP
[attr="class","bandittttt2"] In truth, were it possible for him to leave this she-cat in the dust, Wavestep would have done it a thousand times over. But for some reason, she held a grip over him that he couldn’t explain. She filled his every thought and even though he often flitted around behind her back with anything that could fill his time, he returned to her side every time. He couldn’t help his unfaithfulness - at least that was what he told himself - because that was just the type of cat he was bred to be. His father was a rogue and held no loyalties to anyone and his mother was the same way as he, filling her time and her nest with whomever would keep it warm for the night and onto the next in the morning. He contributed his downfalls to the genetics he’d been given, never once willing to accept that he was to blame for it. That he could change it. But then again, that shouldn’t have surprised anyone.

So when she’d asked him to see her when he returned from patrol, he’d done just that - despite knowing the conversation. Despite knowing that she’d be hurt by his refusal once more. Standing before her now, he watched in silence as she took a small bite of the mouse and nodded slightly. “Surprisingly. There were a few of us able to bring back prey today.” And against his better judgement, he offered a smile. While his loyalty had always wavered to his partner, MoorClan had every ounce of his loyalty and then some for saving him and his sister from Snowdapple when he’d been a kit. Finally, after a few moments, the snowy colored tom lowered himself until he was seated before her, his eyes cautious as he did so. Once she began speaking again, he knew exactly what she was going to say before she said it and the refusal began on his lips.

She turned her gaze away from him and the tom felt a frown pull at the corners of his lips. He hated when she did that, but bit down the urge to tell her to look at him again. Yet, as they always did, her words took the words from him, leaving his mind spinning and his breath held as he tried to collect himself. Despite knowing the conversation, this part never got easier it seemed. Seeing how broken he made her every time, he felt his ears burn from the guilt. Closing his eyes, the tom let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders physically falling with the movement before he turned his blues back to her. “Fawnspots…” He began, his tone soft as it always was as he tried to let her down gently. Tried to let her down without losing her because he couldn’t lose her.

I’ve told you why, haven’t I?” Wavestep tried to collect her gaze with his by dipping his head until it was under her own and moved to nuzzle her neck softly with his nose. “I’m not fit to be a father, I don’t know the first thing. Look at Skywhisper and Mistfeather, their mother did it all, and I don’t… want to put you through the same thing.” His voice was softer still as he tried to move closer to his mate, a piece of him frightened that she’d pull away from him as he did so.

You deserve better.” He sighed outwardly, the words so soft and sounding so hurt. Wavestep couldn’t tell if he truly felt as hurt as he sounded right now, but he knew that his heart felt like it was being squeezed tightly and his lungs struggled to draw the next breath in. Clearing his throat, he slowly pulled himself back until he was a few mouse lengths away from her, his tail softly curling around his feet. Maybe just once, Wavestep, you could do something for her. His mind chastised him darkly and the tom nearly crumbled right there. He felt so conflicted and yet wanted nothing more than to tell her no and end this conversation once and for all.
[attr="class","bandittttt4"]701 | | bandit

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You totally did. I seriously love her so much. I'm so happy you took her! <3

PEBBLES
FIFTY-ONE
MALE
HE/HIM
HETEROSEXUAL
WARRIOR
NA
BANDIT
fawnspots Avatar
fawnspots
Oneclan
Jan 10, 2020 15:41:58 GMT
{
}


She tried readying herself for it. The inevitable no. It was always the same answer. The same story. The same excuse. Her mind had almost entirely blocked out his words of the patrol. She was already focused on the words that were to come. She didn't truly care about the patrol, she just had hoped...with newleaf approaching, kits would be timed well. They would be good for Moorclan. They would be good for them...or at least, they would be good for her. They could keep her company while he was out doing...Wavestep things. 

The thought pained her softly, and she almost winced visibly, but held it back. She knew better by now, she loved him too much to allow him to see her pain. She had to keep it hidden, for him. They were in this together, or at least she was in it for him...though she was never entirely sure of his intentions. But she had to imagine they were good...for the best outcome, they had to be good. They had to be great. 

But as his voice sounded, she knew the answer she was about to receive. It was the same one she had received time after time. It was a no. It was rejection. Skywhisper and Mistfeather. Their mother. She closed her eyes, defeat beginning to fill her heart and soul. His touch was numb to her, thought she wished it wasn't. She wished to find the warmth and fuzzy feelings she used to feel. Before she had known of his infidelities and casual advances to other she-cats. Perhaps someday she could start over with him. Perhaps she could find his slate wiped clean and they would live happily ever after, with kits....one day. 

She could feel the heat of tears attempting to well in the corner of her eyes, and she attempted to hold them back. But as she stared at the ground, it became clouded through her watery gaze and she took in a deep breath. "I just..." Her words started softly, but she couldn't find a way to finish them. "I just deserve happiness...." She let her gaze flicker to his briefly. "Kits would do that. Even if I had to raise them by myself. At least they would keep my mind busy...at least they could help us." The words were hard to speak. They caught in her throat and instilled some sort of uncomfortable air around her.

But they needed to be said, and she couldn't help but find some sort of comfort in saying them. "I don't deserve better...just kits." This was a plead, a cry for help...desperation seeping into the air with her words. They were strained as she allowed her skull to press to his chest. Perhaps if she begged, if she all but threw herself to the ground....

Fawnspots was frozen in place, terrified to pull away and face him. Face the disappointment of another no.     


''this isn't as great but <3  
MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0

PEBBLES
Molly
Hetero
Jelly
wavestep Avatar
wavestep
Oneclan
Jan 15, 2020 23:46:26 GMT
[googlefont="Girassol"][googlefont="Poppins"]
[attr="class","bandittttt1"]
[attr="class","bandittttt3"]WAVESTEP
[attr="class","bandittttt2"] Any other might have crumbled at the look of pain that crossed Fawnspots’ face as she pleaded for the kits that he had denied her for countless moons. But her mate only watched her with a resolve of his own, to remain strong and withhold the same response he’d always provided. Not now, now wasn’t good. He always pushed it back a season or two, tried to divert her attention with empty promises and hoped that if he just continued to string along that eventually she’d relent in her dream of being a mother as he’d sworn to never be a father - at least not a true one. There’d never been a moment in his life where the bengal tom had possessed the desire to raise kits and call them his own and he thought - he hoped - he’d made that clear when he and Fawnspots became mates. Yet it seemed that she was still hoping that he’d change his mind just as he was hoping she’d change hers.

Clearing his throat, the feline lowered his gaze away from his mates and sighed softly in response to her statement about how she deserved better. He bit back the urge to state that he knew because he still feared that she’d leave. Even after everything they’d been through thus far, he knew that one day she’d reach her limit. That’s she’d grow to resent him were he not careful. And despite how much his mind was screaming for him to stop this madness, to be firm with her and put an end to the insanity, he found himself at a loss for words. It was hard to imagine losing her but at the same time he wondered if maybe that were the best for both of them.

The thought was forgotten almost as quickly as it crossed his mind, however. Wavestep knew that he had no intention of losing this she-cat and he had no intention of relenting to her wishes either. When he spoke again, his voice was firmer. “You’d choose to raise kits on your own over respecting my decision?

Damn it, he thought almost immediately. That wasn’t how I wanted to say it. Though it was clear the defensive side of him had already decided this conversation would not be a pleasant one. Instead of trying to give her reason and kindness, he shut her down and attempted to bully her into submission. Hoping that if he became difficult to deal with that she’d simply drop the subject as the attempt at making her feel bad for him not wanting to have kits at all hadn’t worked. “Let’s go for a walk, we can talk elsewhere.” His warmth was quickly fading as - like a switch it was - his temper flared and it took everything he had to keep his head above the water that seemed to rage through him.

[attr="class","bandittttt4"]488 | | bandit

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Nah, it's great. Don't even. <3

PEBBLES
FIFTY-ONE
MALE
HE/HIM
HETEROSEXUAL
WARRIOR
NA
BANDIT
fawnspots Avatar
fawnspots
Oneclan
Jan 27, 2020 17:09:20 GMT
{
}


He had given her the moment. The one where she should attempt to not back down. The one where she needed to embrace the backbone that she knew lived somewhere in her body. But it was hard. Especially when his words hit so hard, and so deep. They cut into her heart. Couldn't he see that she was disrespecting his decision? Couldn't he see that this was a two way street? That he was also disrespecting her choice? He was hurting her, more and more everyday by standing next to his selfish motives. By deciding to keep kits from her. By deciding that the almighty Wavestep was more important than their pairing. 

But in her heart, she knew that this was just the way it would be. This was just the way he was. She had chosen this life, for herself, for her future kits....if they were ever to come into existence. And while it may not be a grand life, while it may not be full of sunshine and rainbows, it was the one she still chose to be apart of. The one she showed up to daily, and put effort into. 

But what was a life without what she truly wanted? Could she continue to go on without a family of her own? Tears began to form in her eyes and she blinked rapidly in an attempt to remove them before they welled up into storm and blurred her vision. If she couldn't have kits......"No." The singular word sounded softly. And as quickly as she spoke it, she almost regretted it. It was sure to bring out a reaction, though she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to acknowledge or view the reaction that it was bound to bring. 

Had she made things worse? Had she just solidified the resistance he kept throwing her way? Or had she boughten herself time...had she shown that this was something she truly cared about? "I'm not going elsewhere with you where it's easier to get me to agree. I want kits Wavestep....can't you respect my decision?" It was a plea, a final one in some aspects. Perhaps this was the last conversation they would have. Perhaps this was sealing their fate. Would he leave her as she stood up for herself? Would he fold? 

Her orbs avoided his, the slightest shake giving way to the nerves that she was harboring.    


'eeeeeek
MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0

PEBBLES
Molly
Hetero
Jelly

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