Two Broken Hearts

Dec 22, 2019 18:31:10 GMT
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[attr="class","sinner1"]
[attr="class","sinback"]
[attr="class","sinnert"]The bitter cold of leaf-bare was biting, even against his thick fur. The large tom-cat was braving the foul weather for one cat only, his beautiful mate Berrychirp. He had felt the distance grow between him and her, no doubt from the multiple miscarriages and stillborns and so in a valiant effort Huckleberryroot sought after his mates favorite prey. Abd while he knew she was not a picky eater, he wanted to get something she'd especially like. And so this is how he found himself sitting idly by a small hole in the ice. Perched precariously close while his muscles laid tense, waiting for the right moment to strike. While it was challenging it wasn't enough to turn him away. He would catch a fish for his mate one way or another, that much he could promise.

It was pure luck when a little fishy got a little too curious, a little too comfortable that Huckleberryroot soon found himself with a fish skittering on the ice. His swipe was quick and methodical and he wasted no time running after the fish to give a killing bite. He was lucky the ice happened to be thick when he pounced on the fish, clamping his jaws down to break the fish's spine. Satisfied with his kill the tom made his way back to camp. While large Huckleberryroot still struggled with unexpected deep ends caused by snowdrifts in the white powdery substance. So by the time he made it back to camp, tips of his fur were frozen and he felt the chill of cold fur seeping into his bones.

"Burr," he mumbled to himself before pausing in front of the camps nursery and shook himself in an effort to rid himself of the ice and snow that clung to his thick fur. Seeing he got rid as much as possible he poked his head through the nursery entrance, doleful brown eyes slowly adjusting to the dark while he looked for his mates colorful pelt. "Berrychirp? I brought something you'll love!" He purred out in affection and excitement. Huckleberryroot lived to please Berrychirp and he hoped she'd recognize the effort and symbolism this fish held. He could not change the fact that her heart was still broken and that he was the cause of it. For all he knew she still didn't want to see him, but he had to try. To try to make things right between them and to brighten her day with the little things in an aim to ease her sadness.

He'll find a time to mourn for himself, but right now his mate mattered more and he needed to be strong for her. If she cried he would not, he'd find the strength to hold his tears and bay and whisper sweet nothing's in her ear. With those thoughts in mind Huckleberryroot fully entered the nursery, his large frame hogging up the entrance and sunlight even as he tried to make himself smaller. Unfortunately nothing could be done so he soon gave up trying. When he found his mate laying with her back facing him in the corner he slowly made his way towards her, stopping a few mouse-lengths short. He dropped the fish in his jaws by his paws before pushing it towards the calico queen with his nose, neck extending towards her. "It's fresh from the river," he all but mumbled out in a hesitant manner. He did not know if he could deal with his mates ignorance any longer.

words and may the heartbreak commence!


[attr="class","sinner2"]
[attr="class","sinnerlyric"]Huckleberryroot
[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + GS




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PEBBLES
50 moons
Male
Hetero
Devi
Berrychirp Avatar
Berrychirp
Oneclan
Dec 23, 2019 8:48:01 GMT
BERRYCHIRP
In truth, Berrychirp did not have it in her to go outside today. She would have liked to hunt, to provide for her clan...perhaps escort an apprentice out of camp for a stroll or to play in the snow whilst their mentor was busy on a patrol. There were many things she would have loved to do for her clan, things that normally warmed her heart and made her pale eyes sparkle.

Today, however, she could not even will the urge to open them.

In truth, she just felt tired. Sad and tired, which was far from what she was used to feeling. Yet while her first stillbirth had hid her hard, as had her first miscarriage...stacking them like pebbles by the shore of the creek was just like stacking the pain on each until it built a wall around her. And while that wall had not closed her in entirely, as she refused to let it...guiltily she knew it stood between herself and those who reminded her of the pain. Like her poor, loving mate.

Her mate, who's voice rung out to her from the entrance of the nursery. She wanted to roll over and face him, to share his affection and smile, truly she did. However, the unfiltered excitement in his voice at a fish just made her screw her eyes shut a little tighter, tail shifting firmly over her muzzle in hopes that perhaps he would think she was asleep.

She felt awful, ignoring him like this. Yet how was he happy when she was so sad?

It was not until Huckleberryroot's voice spoke up again, hesitant and far closer than before, that she realized she had not even noticed him approach. The smell of fish overwhelmed his own scent, and her stomach curled at it, involuntarily. Still, Berrychirp willed herself to open her eyes and lift her head slightly, if only to be a little kinder. She did not mean to take it out on him, not really...yet part of her just wished they could get through this together, rather than him trying to talk about it or forcing her to be happy for him all the time. Did he not understand that she needed comfort more than she needed something to make her laugh? She knew he did not mean to, surely...yet he was making her feel like she could not simply let it all out and move on with him.

"I'm not hungry..." she murmured softly, and though she managed for him an attempt at a reassuring smile - more sad and frail than anything - her gaze failed to even nearly meet his. Instead, it scanned the nursery, before landing upon her sole denmate blinking at her sympathetically nearby. With her nose, the calico nudged the fish, before gesturing her mate toward the other queen.

"She will be having kits soon," she said gently, a choked sadness tinging her voice. She forced it back, yet still lowered her snowy chin back toward her matching paws. "She needs it much more than I do...I can grab a mouse or something later."

Notes | you asked for it
Tagged |


PEBBLES
53 Moons
Female
She/Her
Heterosexual
Queen
Nyara
Dec 24, 2019 5:45:30 GMT
'I'm not hungry'. Three little words that caused a frown of woody to appear on his face, eyebrows furrowed in worry. "Oh..." Huckleberryroot murmured out gently as he watched his mate offer away the fish he put so much effort into catching to another queen. A sting prickled at his fur st the feeling of his efforts being unappreciated, however her pushed those silly emotions aside. The expecting queen could benefit from the nutrients the fish offered and in the very least it wouldn't go to waste. "Very well," he picked the fish back up in his jaws and maneuvered towards the heavily pregnant queen to offer her the fish. He bowed his head before dropping the fish at his paws and nudging it closer to her within reach. The he turned around and moved back towards his mate. "At least try to eat something later, my love. Berrybloom says you need to keep your strength up," concern shone brightly in his deep and soulful brown eyes as he gaze upon his mate, trying to meet her pale eyes. Licking his lips Huckleberryroot cleared his throat. "Would you perhaps like to go hunting? We can also talk?" He laid down and curled into himself, trying to conserve his body heat.

He strongly doubted his mate wanted to do anything remotely involving him, yet it couldn't hurt to try to ask her. To test the boundaries and waters between him and her, to see if she was still willing to put up him. Seeing his mate so crushed left Huckleberryroot feeling broken and worthless, unworthy of such a beautiful and wonderful mate. So in an attempt to help her feel a little bit better he stretched his neck out towards her, covering the small distance between them. His nose attempted to touch her cheek in an affectionate manner, a gentle yet quick lick to the cheek Huckleberryroot inched closer. How desperately he wanted to curl around her, wrapping around her in his much larger frame, to smother her in his thick fur and groom her in an effort to comfort her. Yet he did none of those things except rest his chin atop her forehead, not daring to push his limits any further lest he upset Berrychirp and start a fight. He was tired of fighting, so very tired. He simply just wanted his best friend back, his mate. "I'm so sorry," He whispered in the shell of her ear, swallowing a rather thick lump of saliva lodged in his throat.



--- yes, yes it is :3 lowkey I was legit falling asleep writing this so sorry if it doesnt make sense. I couldn't copy it so I had no choice but to finish and post it

PEBBLES
50 moons
Male
Hetero
Devi
Berrychirp Avatar
Berrychirp
Oneclan
Dec 28, 2019 2:54:34 GMT
BERRYCHIRP
While she felt guilty for turning down the prey he no doubt spent plenty of effort in the freezing cold to catch for her, she simply could not eat it, and to let it go to waste would have only made it that much more sour. Fortunately, that spike of guilt was washed away at the mention of Berrybloom...though the worry it was replaced with was hardly any better. Yes, the medicine cat had said that just a few days ago, and of course she respected and valued her advice, and yet...where was Berrybloom? No one had seen her in a couple of days, and with Pantherleap ill and everyone looking to her poor apprentice...well, Spiderpaw must have been under a lot of pressure.

The poor dear was far too young for this - Berrychirp could only hope his mentor would swiftly return.

Brown eyes filled with concern sought out hers, and again the guilt rose as she wondered if she was only making things worse with her silence, giving the the tom a blink of acknowledgement as she attempted to soften her own expression some. She had not meant to let her thoughts wonder...yet at the same time, what was there she could say to that? Well, perhaps there were many things, reassurances or even arguments if she felt the need...but no words had escaped her maw, and instead she had let her mind drift to a different topic. Not a lighter one, but at least one less personal and painful to her.

The pain that glimmered in her eyes stabbed her like a thorn, and it lodged itself deep in her chest as he went on, only making her feel worse as she peered up at him from where her chin rested on her paws. Sure, his excitement earlier had felt off to her...yeah she did not want to hurt him...did she? No! Of course not. So, she allowed the contact of his tongue against her cheek, of his chin upon her forehead, even if she just wanted to curl back into her nest and shut out the world for now.

Yet Berrychirp could not stop herself from flinching at his apologetic whisper.

It was not his fault. She knew she should not blame him, it was wrong, so very wrong, and it was only hurting him...yet she could barely help it. Perhaps she should just accept the truth - clearly she was not meant to be a mother. Maybe he knew that. Perhaps that's why he was apologizing. It almost made her want to tell him to leave. Almost.

A brief glance toward her denmate, who gave her an encouraging - in incredibly subtle - nod was enough for Berrychirp to draw her gaze back to her mate and lean her head a little into his warmth, even if she did not shift closer than that for now. "Please don't...I..." That came out wrong. Wincing, the molly pulled away and flitted her gaze to his pleadingly, apologetically. "C-could we...talk about....something else, maybe?"

Her mind searched, for anything that had nothing to do with their lost kits and all that stood between them.

"Did you...go on patrol today?" She began softly, tail curling closer to her body as she shifted uncertainly in her nest, hindlegs naturally folding to protect her stomach, despite that there was no longer anything to protect. She tried not to think of that, instead scrabbling internally for something else. "Or...your apprentice. How's Knotpaw doing...good?"

Notes | well this is awkward
Tagged |


PEBBLES
53 Moons
Female
She/Her
Heterosexual
Queen
Nyara
Jan 6, 2020 5:05:35 GMT
[attr="class","sinner"]
[attr="class","sinner1"]
[attr="class","sinback"]
[attr="class","sinnert"]A moment of escasy bloomed in Huckleberryroot's heart, spreading a soothing warmth through his chilled soul. It was the little things that counted to the huge brown tom, such as how his mate allowed him to lick her cheek and rest his chin upon her head. It gave him hope that their relationship could still be saved, could be rekindled to what it once was. However, the subtle flinch at his apology was not lost on him and in response tensed up waiting for his mates harsh dismissal. It never came. A shaky breath echoed with a hollow rattle in his chest, the air pushing through his nose softly. The relief her felt at not being turned away left a shaky and hesitant smile on his lips, a relieved sadness shinning softly in his eyes. He pulled back briefly to look at Berrychirp before resting his head back on her chin. "Okay. We can talk about other things. Whatever you want, love," Huckleberryroot purred out in a comforting tone.

The male gently shook his head, "no it would have been unwise to go on patrol." He meowed out before continuing, "Hornetcall was on the patrol." That was all he had to say, no other words were required to voice out his displeasure. He only hoped that Berrychirp recognized that he was trying to avoid a fight and nothing more. "However, I took Knotpaw out training instead. That apprentice will turn into a fine warrior, I'm sure of it. He's talented Berrychirp and I can only hope to do him proud." Huckleberryroot gushed over his apprentice, the affection clear in his tone of voice. He looked off into the distance, getting lost in his memories as he describe his apprentice's feats and accomplishments. "I'm sure the both of you would get along wonderfully. You should meet him sometime" Huckleberryroot purred out as he felt Berrychirp snuggle closer into his thick fur and in the spur of the moment he nuzzled her cheek and began purring. The sound rumbled in his chest as he wrapped his thick feather like tail along his mates back. It was a moment of respite, a time where the tom could love his mate. He felt like he had taken three steps closer to reconnecting with the molly his body was wrapped around. Whether the feeling was mutual was lost on him. All he knew was that he was happy and he dearly hoped his mate was in the very least cheered up at this point in time.

"He still has a lot to learn, though I'm confident in his abilities." 

I'm sorry for such lateness


[attr="class","sinner2"]
[attr="class","sinnerlyric"]Huckleberryroot
[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + GS




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PEBBLES
50 moons
Male
Hetero
Devi
Berrychirp Avatar
Berrychirp
Oneclan
Jan 10, 2020 0:59:38 GMT
BERRYCHIRP
He agreed. Of course he agreed. Berrychirp could hardly say she was surprised. It was just another tiptoe, after all, a step in which he hoped to be the right direction. And it was, but she wished his agreement made her feel less...fragile. Or already broken, perhaps, worried about chipping the few pieces that remained whole. Her ears flicked back at the thought, before she willed them forward again as his chin rested once more upon her head.

She could not blame him, not really. Could she? It felt wrong, and yet...

Berrychirp reminded herself silently to focus on the topic at hand, to accept the distraction she had requested. Not that he allowed much of one, for the sibling rivalry between the brothers was hardly much of a softer blow than her current circumstances. Still, the molly took the bait, and offered the slightest of smiles as she willed forth some words. "Well I'm glad you didn't seek a fight...I wish you didn't need to avoid each other, but I guess..." It was better. They all knew it, really. If every interaction would end in a fight, then separation was as well as they could do for now. If only the brothers could be as close as she was with Blossomshine...yet she knew that was a baseless hope. Once upon a time, but never again. At least there were still memories.

Berrychirp pricked her ears as she listened, casting her own thoughts aside as she let his affection and pride for his apprentice warm her. It was nice to hear, she would admit, and she allowed herself to relax slightly into him. A fact he seemed to take as an invitation, for a purr started up from the tom as he curled around her. She had to force herself not to tense as his tail trailed along her back, and remind herself to relax. He was her loving mate, and he cared. He was not expecting any more than this right now, right? She let herself sink slightly into his warmth, though she could not enjoy it quite as much as she knew she used to.

"I think I'd like that," she agreed softly, eyes closing as she leaned her head into the shoulder of her mate. For just a moment, she could pretend that everything was the same as before their losses. She was pregnant with her first litter, and they were curled with each other sharing stories of the day as they drifted off into contented sleep, hopes high for the future and the family they would build together, no amount of lost kits burdening their souls.

Yet that was not the case.

Berrychirp's next words came out a little choked despite her attempts to force aside her thoughts and normalize her voice. "He sounds lovely..." Would their kits have grown up to be like Knotpaw? She could imagine herself gushing over their apprentice ceremonies, sad to see them depart from her side, yet oh so excited for their future and the wonderful warriors they would one day become.

Notes |
Tagged |


PEBBLES
53 Moons
Female
She/Her
Heterosexual
Queen
Nyara

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